Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
