After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
