How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
