Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
