Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
