rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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