Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You have to summon your inner elephant
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
