from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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