And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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