Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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