just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
