Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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