Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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