Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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