well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
