Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
