hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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