dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
