i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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