adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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