Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
