Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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