somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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