Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
