Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
