You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
