So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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