he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize