your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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