I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My pussy is not your playground.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
