hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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