I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
