she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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