I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
