Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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