How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
