As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
