wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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