If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
