i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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