super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
