i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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