They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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