And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
