He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize