so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize