The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
