sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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