we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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