Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
