my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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