dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
