my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
